Paula Dene Fasani Kehoe

Paula Dene (Fasani) Kehoe, 77, of Falls Church, VA passed away peacefully at home on Sunday, March 19, 2023, with her daughters by her side. Against all odds, and somewhat to her dismay (as she was more than ready to meet her maker), she made it a year and six weeks with pancreatic cancer. This gave her time to live, love and of course spar a little with everyone she encountered. Cancer took a lot from her, but it did not dull her feistiness in the slightest.

Paula is survived by her two daughters: Elizabeth Ann Hartzler and husband Shane, and Jennifer Marie Whyte and husband Mike; her grandchildren: Jacob, Emma, and Rachel Hartzler, and Nathan and Katherine Whyte; her sister and best friend: Carole Pennington and husband Joe; many in-laws on her late husband’s side; and a multitude of nieces and nephews. She is reunited with her husband Nick, her parents, her brother Lenny, and a host of good friends who went before.

Paula was born on September 4, 1945, to Mable and Lewis Fasani in Ravenna, Ohio. Her sister, Carol, was seven years older and her brother, Lenny, two years younger.  When Paula was eleven, a new job for her father took the family to Phoenix, Arizona. That became home for the rest of her childhood and early adulthood.  After graduating from high school, Paula attended St. Joseph’s Hospital School of Nursing and followed in her sister’s footsteps to became a registered nurse.  While working as a young nurse she met a handsome Air Force pilot in training named Nick. They fell in love and after a brief courtship were wed on April 15, 1967. Within 3 1/2 years their two girls, Beth and Jen, had been born and their family was complete.

For the bulk of her marriage Paula was a military wife.  She and Nick went, with two kids in tow wherever the Air Force took them, moving every couple of years both abroad and in the states. Those were some of the best years and most fun times of her life. The friends they made, the trips they took, the adventures they had, the opportunities they were given, and the comradery they felt with the people they worked and lived with was life-defining in the best of ways.  Being married to a successful career pilot who steadily rose in rank had its privileges, but it was also hard work involving much sacrifice. That said, Paula thrived in that environment and was a consummate military spouse. She gracefully juggled the parenting, the entertaining, the mentoring, and the volunteering like a pro and she partnered with her husband to do whatever was needed to support his career.  It was a busy life well-lived. Not that she had much free time, but she also managed several different jobs over the years – a nurse in various settings, a travel agent, a retail salesperson, a Red Cross phlebotomist.  Whatever she took on to do, she did well.

Retirement life was probably a little too quiet for Paula after 34 years as a military wife, but she settled into it. For the first time in her life she spent over 20 years in the same house.  It was a haven for her and a wonderful gathering place for friends and family. She very much enjoyed decorating it and keeping it nice.  Shortly after moving to Falls Church for retirement, she was lucky enough to join a Bible study and meet some ladies of great faith who became close friends. They loved each other, challenged each other and whether it was getting together for Mahjong, Bible Study, tea, or a lunch out they always had a good time. Paula loved to garden and spent hour upon hour picking weeds, pruning, and planting until her yard was pristine.  She loved TV shows of all kinds and taped many each week that she played back later. As an avid reader throughout her life, she always had a good book or a kindle (usually both) at her side. A cup of coffee, a cigarette, and a crossword puzzle were always a good start to the day and the evening news followed by Jeopardy a good end. Paula loved shelties and Cooper, her latest one, was a constant companion and with her ‘til the end.

Spending time with family was always number one for Paula.  She loved anytime she could be with her girls or the grandkids. She also cherished both her sons-in-law who were a constant source of amusement to her. There were a lot of traditions and many fun occasions together over the years, but the best week of everyone’s year was always a very special beach week. For twenty consecutive years Paula and Nick took their family (and usually several friends) to Sandbridge.  The number and quality of memories made there are epic, and they remain a great treasure for all.

Though a good wife and mom to be sure, it was in her role of Grammy that Paula truly shined.  From the day they were born each grandchild held the strings to her heart and that heart was big enough to love each of them completely.  She babysat, baked and bathed.  She played endless board and card games and read thousands of stories. She taught everyone the art of building puzzles, making meatballs, getting out stains, and excelling at double solitaire. Sleep overs meant painted nails, special shows, bubble baths, grilled cheese sandwiches, and cozy snuggles. She wasn’t much of a sports fan, but she was at the piano performances, dance recitals, birthdays both close by and across the country, and other big (or not so big) occasions. As the kids grew older she was still always there for them and what was important to them was important to her. For all of their lives, she was a cheerleader for each of them wherever they were and whatever they were doing.  She appreciated each of her grandchildren for who they were as individuals and had a special understanding of and relationship with each one. She felt their disappointments deeply and gleefully celebrated their successes.  Her pride in them was immense, the joy they provided her immeasurable.  They brought out the very best in her.

Everyone who knew Paula would tell you she was one-of-a-kind! She was gutsy, strong, and not afraid to say what she thought. She had a sharp tongue and a sharp wit, a great sense of humor, a stubborn streak a mile long, and oh, she was opinionated. She was always up for a good time or a good argument! Debate suited her well. She pushed to get what she needed, advocated for the things she cared about, and fought for what she thought was right. Spunky, sassy and spirited are the words most commonly used to describe her. Paula was unapologetically herself always. Those closest to her knew she had a softer side too – that she was sensitive, that she was a thinker, a questioner, a worrier… that she wanted what was best for those she loved, that she longed to be accepted for who she was, and that above all, she desired to know God more and live a life pleasing to Him.

A memorial service celebrating her life will be held at 10 a.m. on Saturday, April 15 at St. Matthews UMC, 8617 Little River Turnpike in Annandale, VA and will be followed by brunch in the social hall. She will be laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery later this year with her husband of 56 years, Lieutenant General Nicholas B. Kehoe III (United States Air Force, Retired), who passed away just three months before she did. Date and time will be announced as soon as we get that information but could be up to a year away.

In lieu of flowers please consider donating to one of Paula’s favorite charities listed below:

St Jude Children’s Research Hospital https://www.stjude.org/donate/donate-to-st-jude.html

American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) https://www.aspca.org/ways-to-give

The Lamb Center https://www.thelambcenter.org/ways-to-give/give-online/