At the loss of someone so dear, grief is a massive emotion to carry. But that overwhelming sense of immeasurable loss means we also experienced a profound sense of love. If we make it through the pain, the sorrow may remind us of the enduring imprint that those we cherish have on our lives forever more.

Donald A. Duke, passed away on October 21, 2024, at the age of 77, with family at his bedside. It was one day before his mother’s birthday.

No one carried with them so many nicknames. He was called Duke, Duck, My Donelle, Cuz, and Loveiss. Those terms of endearment carried special significance for all who loved him. It was an intimate understanding of what was unique about Donald.

For Donald was no ordinary man. Upon his entrance, he lit up a room, ushering in a whirlwind of excitement, laughter and often utter confusion. But he was also a private, solitary figure. He loved to walk the shores along the Potomac River in the Northern Neck, hunting for ancient shark teeth. Sightings of American bald eagles and his favorite wintering waterfowl, especially of course the mallard duck, were magical and soothing. This was life.

It was his family that surrounded him with devotion, respect, integrity, and an intensity of familial love and loyalty. And it was that upbringing that guided his own life. He worshipped his children, all of whom survive him: Sheri Duke Gilotti (Aldo), Christopher Duke (Kappy) and Harold Addison Duke III. They made up all of the joys in his life and of course for some of the sorrows. He is also survived by four grandchildren, Bethany Gilotti, Gabrielle Gilotti, Allie Louise Duke and Hunter Addison Duke. They would usher great hope and happiness into his life. But it was the great-grandchildren, Gavin, Beau, Rhett, and Baby Crew Duke (who shares Donald’s name) who would bring the smiles, laughter and blissful energy back into Donald’s life.

There are special nieces and nephews such as Heather Duke and Bobby Duke. And there were cousins who stood by him until the end, Pierce Muse, with whom Donald would form a closeness, a bond and friendship that brought Donald lightheartedness and laughter.

But it was not just the children in Donald’s life that defined his heart and soul. There existed a strength of character that influenced him to become his beloved mother’s caregiver for many years, until she closed her beautiful blue eyes once and for all. These were difficult years. Years of sacrifice to help his mother live out her life with laughter, good care, dignity and family. Donald never begrudged a moment he spent caring for his Mom or later for his Aunt Sue. He loved too deeply and completely. In some ways it completed his life.

There was a magnetism about Donald. Once you loved him or he loved you, it was for life. He remained best friends with his first wife, Sherran, his high school sweetheart and mother to his beloved Sherri and Christopher. She was at his bedside with others when he too closed his eyes once and for all.

Donald left a legacy of strong family ties, strength of spirit, and an unending generosity that was mirrored by his actions toward family and friends.

Reflecting Donald’s final wishes, he will be cremated, and in typical Donald fashion, there are no services planned.

Time does not bring relief; you all have lied Who told me time would ease me of my pain! I miss him in the weeping of the rain;

I want him at the shrinking of the tide;

The old snows melt from every mountain-side, And last year’s leaves are smoke in every lane; But last year’s bitter loving must remain

Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide. There are a hundred places where I fear

To go,—so with his memory they brim. And entering with relief some quiet place Where never fell his foot or shone his face I say, “There is no memory of him here!”

And so stand stricken, so remembering him.

~ ~ ~ EDNA ST. VINCENT MILLAY