Storke Funeral Home Obituaries

Walter was the third of six children between  Edward W. Kern and June B. Kern.   Walter was a free spirit that enjoyed life to its fullest.  It was often said he would never die from stress… but others might.  

Walter was a member of  Colonial Beach Volunteer Fire Department since high school.  He graduated from Colonial Beach High School in 1966. 

One day in high school when a substitute teacher called on Walter to do something he refused.  A challenge ensued.  He quickly sprang to the large window which is on the second story and threatened to jump.  As the teacher demanded him to get down he jumped out the window. Unbeknownst to the teacher Walter leaped to the fire escape steel pole and slid down like  a fireman and then quickly ran directly below the window and splayed himself on the ground.  When the substitute teacher arrived at the window and saw Walter on the ground she passed out.  

He joined the US Navy shortly thereafter. He was the Helmsman and torpedo-man on the USS Proteus.  Walter often found his free spirit at odds with US Navy authority. As punishment for an infraction he was placed in charge of painting the side of the ship with two other shipmates.  When one of the shipmates was in the bosen chair (over the side of the ship) challenged Walter’s authority, Walter quickly reestablished control and let the rope go sending the sailor plunging 30 feet into the water.  Walter then hoisted the sailor up again only to do the same thing. Walter told the sailors he could do this all day.  Walter’s authority was quickly reestablished.  After six years in the navy he lived in San Diego for several years. He hitchhiked from San Diego to Colonial Beach several times and often it only took 3 rides.

Walter maintained his school friendships throughout his life. His friends Bobby and Janet Duke and their children and grandchildren were his family.  He and Bobby Duke were active in school athletics for many years.

Walter worked many different jobs over the years. The winds of employment took him in all directions.  He was lucky enough to pick and choose his destiny.  He worked several years for Bill Cooper who treated him like a son.  He also worked for Bobby Pearson driving a fish truck to New York City.  He was always treated like family.  Later he was on a tractor trailer team that hauled seafood between Florida to Maine.

He later joined forces with his brothers (Big Rod, Jeff and Steve) during the reconstruction of the Potomac River Bridge in 1984.   He later worked on the Yorktown Bridge during its reconstruction.  After Yorktown he was employed by Virginia Department of Transportation running the I-95 corridor assisting motorists in need.   

Many of Colonial Beach residents know more of his antics which are probably better left unsaid and unprinted.   

He loved Colonial Beach and he was their unofficial Ambassador.  He would often give rides on his golf cart to tourists and always presented Colonial Beach in a good light.

Walter was a member of the Colonial Beach Baptist Church. Throughout the years he taught pastors the meaning of patience.  He once attended a church picnic with a tee shirt that said …“Support Your Local Cat House…Colonial Beach Feline Society”.  Later in life he became more serious about his faith and was a true believer in Jesus Christ.

Walter made every day count…that is why he lived 76 years and 12 days.

Walter was predeceased by his parents and older brother Phillip.  Left to cherish his memory are his siblings Polly Boschen (Ted), Suzy Davis (Big Rod), Jeff (Yvonne), Steve (Sarah), numerous nieces and nephews, his very best friend Janet Duke and her children and grandchildren as well as countless residents of the little river town he loved so much.

Walter was known by many and will be missed by all.

A graveside service will be held at the family cemetery (135 Creek View Lane) Saturday, February 12, 2022 at 2:00 p.m.  A gathering will immediately follow at the Carriage House.